Lucius' Lament
by AlucardChick101
Summary: Lucius has more stressing problems than Voldemort; that revolves all around Draco, a cushioning charm, and Potter.
1. Chapter 1

**Lucius' was born in 1954. He graduated Hogwarts at roughly 18, so in 1972. I'm making it so Voldemort didn't complete loose his shit until he heard of the prophecy in 1980 when Harry was born; So semi-sane Voldie including the years of Lucius service when he was attending school.**

It was supposed to be easier; everything, that is.

For the longest time he had been under the impression that once he graduated from Hogwarts grasp, everything was going to fall into place. After all, the Dark Lord was well on his way of working his way up to over powering the Light-oriented Ministry legally at the time and only seemed to be getting closer each passing day. More followers flowed in every day. His, at the time, fiance was unwavering at his side and his close friend Severus showed no signs of obscuring himself away from society once school finished. Narcissa supported him loyally when it came to the Dark Lord and Severus was right by his side every step of the way. Things could only look up. School ending meant freedom; relieved of the judging gazes of the other Houses, free of dancing around Dumbledore's strings of manipulation, more time to devote to his Lord's ultimate goal. Equality for all among the Wizarding World had been the original idea, that had hooked both Lucius, then Severus until it had drug every Slytherin falling into step. Voldemort wanted better laws down to protect orphans and muggle-borns, wanted to give everyone a chance at working towards their own dreams without being judged by their blood. The first eight years out of school had seemed endearingly promising. While being a extremely private person (he enjoyed wearing hoods and rarely showed his face), Voldemort had been... dare he say it... understanding and justly fair at the time. It had made it easier for Lucius to juggle his Lordly responsibilities, his duty as a Death-eater, as a husband and soon-to-be father.

Honestly, Lucius thought nothing could have brought him down. Murphy's law dug his claws deep into Lucius unsuspecting back in just a week after his son's birth in 1980. He hadn't known the domino effect it was going to have on his life when his Lord had stormed his mansion and demanded all of his followers to a meeting. His just and understanding leader seemed to undergo a revolting transformation just under two days after Severus reported a prophecy.

'Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...' Those words had damned two families with all of Voldemort's paranoia; the Longbottoms and the Potters both had sons born July 30 and 31, respectfully. While Lucius didn't put much into divination and all that rot, it appeared that his Lord did as it seemed to tear at the once unbreakable man for the next year; breathing down his neck. He became easier to anger and didn't hesitate to take his rage out on anyone he deemed worthy. Dumbledore's lies about _all_ Dark magic being evil had people snubbing their noses at anyone who breathed a word of a spell 'too tainted'; it only intensified with Voldemort's volatile attitude and his appearance had turned... decidedly _unnatural._ Suddenly, being apart of the Circle meant being a murder and a wanted criminal for the dark arts; not that his Lord showed any acknowledgement of the sudden shift of the public's opinion, because he was busy hunting down two 15 month old babies.

It had been terribly naive and it hadn't been until after his Lord had vanished did he realize his error. All the years he had worked closely with Voldemort and watched as he worked to help future generations through gaining control of the Ministry, it had obviously blinded him from the being that had took his Lord's place. He had became physically ill the morning of the first of November when he read the front page of the prophet. He had not attended the last meeting his Lord had called due to having to watch son as Narcissa had fallen ill with wizarding flu for the past two weeks at Saint Mungo's and Lucius vehemently refused to allow a _house-elf_ to care for his son any longer than an hour. He honestly had been lost on how his wife did it, because it took every fiber of his being to care for his son those days. He couldn't even use the Loo without the toddling blonde trying to follow him in!

He hadn't truly given any real thought to what would happen when his Lord did find either of the boys. He figured at most the boys would be removed from Dumbledore's manipulating hands and cared for under Voldemort's careful watch. But reading the recent events he had missed, he didn't have the chance to make it to the Loo before his stomach was emptying itself across the floor of his son's bedroom where he had been resting as Draco went down for a nap. He hadn't responded immediately to Draco's sudden cries, his stomach releasing what little breakfast he had managed to snatch and his brain reeling in tight circles as it replayed the sentences morbidly across the backs of his eyelids. He didn't know what stunned him more; the fact that his Lord murdered the Potters and attempted it on a _baby_ or his Lord had been 'killed' by said baby. It was so absurd that Lucius couldn't hold back the disbelieving laugh as his eyes watered at the sudden looming threat his stomach gave at the thought. A baby... just barely a month younger than his own little Dragon.

It had been in the moment he had lost all loyalty he had felt for Voldemort; he was officially out. He didn't attend another death-eater meeting, and Severus seemed to be following in his footsteps at the murder of Lily.

He enjoyed the next decade raising his spoiled son before his 'Lord' returned as a wraith attached to Quirrell's head like some parasite; not that anyone had knew at the time. By the time news had reached the elder Malfoy, Quirrell was dead and his son had rambled on and on about the rumors floating about at school. The last few month's had been quite eventful and Lucius swore on his parents graves that he would have gray hair before the year was over. The next few years didn't prove to be any different as his Lord made increasing attempts at Harry Potter and failed. It came on suddenly that he was ensnared within Voldemorts grasp once again. Oddly enough, that was the least of his worries.

"Father! He did it again! Can you believe the nerve of that bloody git? Rushing head first into anything that bores You-Know-Who's name and being all gryffindor like some bloody knight-in-shining-armor! What a bunch of complete bollocks!"

Lucius didn't flinch as his office doors slammed against the walls with his sons antics. The urge to rub at his eyes was overwhelming as he adjusted the reading glasses perched on his nose. He was behind on filing his share of reports that came with his title as a Lord and his seat in the Wizengamot; he had been attending to Voldemorts meetings and trying to assist Severus with his double-spy work. Honestly, the first handful of times his son had burst into his office, he had been concerned and given his full attention. He learned rather quickly that he couldn't aid his son in his troubles, other than to lend a ear. Because the only time his Dragon found himself burning down his father's doors was always Potter related.

"...-and the Weasel! That arse! Acting like he is all high and mighty just because he managed to befriend the Boy-Who-Lived! Weasel's a nobody! What does Potter see in that daft twat?!"

Lucius gave a half-hearted shrug as he read over the details of the report in his hand. Why didn't his son ever track down his mother for these rants? Not like she really did much other than have tea parties to socialize with the other Ladies. She always knew what to say when it came to Draco's... dilemmas. Lucius struggled to even keep up with the boy when he opened his mouth. He found himself suddenly missing the little boy who used to sit in his lap and be content with getting to spend time with his papa. That small child had been so easily pleased and the only dilemmas needing fixed was buying some toy or delicious treats.

"-at mudblood hit me! _Me_! And do you know what Potter did?!"

Lucius blinked at the sudden silence, realizing that he was expected to respond in some form. Damn.

"No, Dragon, but I'm sure you will tell me." He signed his name down on the dotted line before folding the paper up to send off to the Ministry. He grabbed the next stack of papers, taking the moment to stretch his fingers out from the cramps that was starting to form.

"Nothing! Positively nothing! The git just walked off!"

And what did his son expect? Did he want Potter to hit him too? Have his other eye blackened as a souvenir to take home?

"-...blew up Uncle Severus' class with a simple calming draught!"

No, that couldnt be it. Lucius knew his son couldn't be a masochist in any dimension; the boy cried at the _thought_ of needles, even as a teen. However, that didn't mean that he was completely clueless on his brats issue. You dont live as long as he had and be _that_ blind to all the details that were aimed at him like blugders. Ironic considering he had years to talk himself into acceptice of the realization (which really only took the first few days once he realized there was no point in resisting) and Draco was still swimming around in dazed circles. Not like Lucius could shout it out in the ranting sessions his son sprung upon him because his wife was stern on letting Draco figure it out himself.

Lucius knew his kid was smart. His son had learned all his ABC's at just four years old, and was well on his way counting pretty bloody high for his age at the time! He held high grades in all of his classes and didnt fall behind in his training as Heir. He couldnt be any prouder to call Draco his son.

"..-Could the git at least brush his bloody hair? And those aweful glasses! Father, they are three times too big for his stupid head! Why doesnt he take a damn eye correction potion? All those damn wire lenses do is get in the way! Its so muggle like!"

But Lucius Abraxas Malfoy was going to be the first to confess (and unfortantely, only in his mind for the time being): his son was irrevocably romantically retarded. Honestly, he didnt think all those years ago when his love had been pregnant that he should have wished for anything other than his child being born healthy; because there was more to a child than that apparently. He never would have thought he should have been wishing for his first born to understand romantic feelings, be able to translate them, and then act accordingly. Definitely would have saved a lot of migraines.

He fought a grimace as he looked down at his papers. Was his kid this was because of the 'incident' all those years ago? He mechanically signed another paper without looking, else he would have noticed his signature in blue ink spread across the paragraph, instead of beneath it. If he was being truthful, he tried not to think of the said Incident because his wife would skin him love if she ever found out. The two weeks had had been watching Draco had been stressful enough and sleep had been none existent after reading the news about the Potters; its not like he intentionally dropped his baby! ...Besides, he casted the cushioning charm before Draco's head met the ground! Even Severus gave the boy a clean bill when he had been called in, Draco had been perfectly fine... There had been no reason to tell Cissy, especially with her recovering. Stress had been the last thing she needed. Feeling like he had been hit with a boulder, he slumped in his chair. He did not hurt his kid. There was no way he couldve hurt his son with the cushioning charm... He slumped down in his chair further feeling like the air had been sucked from him. He dropped his head against the table, not paying any mind to the quill still gripped in his outstretched hand.

He was a terrible father. Draco was retarded because of a cushioning charm! What the hell?! What'd it do? Repel feelings from impacting?!

"Well, are you going to answer me?! What do I do?!" Draco huffed with a pointed look on his face that was learned from his mother, most definitely.

Despite popular belief, Lucius did not work well under pressure. His mind liked to focus on one task at a time, look at every possible outcome for that problem before he moved. And his mind was already working on the fuck up from over a decade ago, and the possible complications that it was proving now. That was a massive load on its own, not including the pile of paperwork that needed to be done weeks ago, and Lucius mouth never had much of a filter at home around family when he was deep in thought.

"Kiss him already, damnit!"

The silence that followed after was like a dose of pepper-up because suddenly Lucius felt wide awake and firing on all cylinders as his mind narrowed down like tunnel vision. Shit. He hadn't said that allowed, right? Cissy was going to slowly detach his arms and legs one by one before cruio-ing him into a coma. He lifted his head to stare at his son whose skin was a shockingly bleach white. There was a sort of stand still where father and son were locked in a staring contest; Lucius wasnt sure how much time passed but as he saw Dracos form sway backwards, his mind immediately locked down. Draco could smash his bloody head! He was not going to use a merlin-be-damned cushioning charm! There was no telling what else that would fuck up!

"W-wha..I.." Lucius would have laughed at the small squeak that ended in, but he was already running through the best solutions to fix this conversation. Brutal honesty seemed the best way. Maybe it would pound through that cushioning charm.

"Its not that bloody complicated Draco! Quit being so thick-headed! Youre a slytherin! From the moment you met Harry, youve been scrambling for his attention, any bloody attention! Youre like a five year old pulling on his crushes pigtails and stepping on toes! Youre jealous of the Weaselys and Granger because theyre actually getting positive attention from the boy when youre not. Do everyone a favor and grow the bloody hell up! French kiss the boy in front of the entire school for all I care, but do not come back in my office again with one of your lovesick rants because I swear by merlins balls, I will walk willingly into an Avada Kedavra!"

...And that may have come off too strong, Lucius realized a little too late as he watched Draco's burst into the brightest red he had ever seen that traveled down his neck to his shirt collar. He was eerily still, Lucius couldnt even see him inhaling. There was no way that broke the teen. He only said to kiss Potter. Geez, Draco was grown enough to at least be able to talk about kissing without shutting down, right?

"...Y-you want m-me to ki...ki...Po-Harry?"

"We're obviously not talking about Weasely, Draco! Youre damn crush started years ago, and your mother said to let you work it out on your own, but I dont have the patience to wait until your peanut of a brain figures it out. I hate to break it to you, son. Youre romatically fucking hopeless! So let your dad be the one to enlighten you, youve been lovestruck dumb with Potter since starting Hogwarts. Now that I have done more than my share as your father, please use your brain to solve why your constantly soaking in Potters business and hunting him down, and do something before I am forced to an early grave!"

Gray hair did not look good to Lucius, and he planned on keeping it away for as long as possible.

"...Kiss Harry?"

"Kiss him, hug him, ask him on a date, shag him, court him for merlins sake! Anything! Just stop with the five year old antics."

Lucius grimaced at the thought of giving Draco the _talk_ if the boy was this slow on kissing. Hell no. He did his part as a parent! Cissy could get her ass into gear for that lovely conversation. He scowled. Why did he have to be the parent to scar his kid with these types of conversations? He was not cut out to be giving the boy advice of that sort because his own father never even had to. Lucius knew he was going to be married to Narcissa since his first year at Hogwarts, there hadnt been much room to expand on that bloody part!

Maybe he should have just spared this entire conversation and struck up a marriage contract for Draco to tie him to Potter. Damn he should have thought of that. There would have been a lot of yelling and complaining from both ends at the beginning, he was sure, but it would have eventually rolled around in Dracos brain that he might have a obsessive crush on the green-eyed boy. Potter liking his son back wasnt a question either. The handful of times he had seen them together was enough of a confirmation.

* * *

 **Ive been sick nearly a week and decided to stay up the last few hours of the early morning (2am to be precise) to do this because I cannot get out of bed. Boredom is killing me just as much as this flu.**


	2. I just cant do it right now

I am going to start this off with: im sorry. I wont be posting anything for the forseeable future due to family trouble.

I have helped raise my two oldest nieces since birth for 10 years with my parents because my brother didnt want to be 'weighed' down. He divorced their bio mom (who is a abusive bitch that sleeps with several guys) and gave visitation rights to her for every other weekend. We bought my brother a double trailer and put it on the front of our property, and my nieces probably seen him a handful of times over the years. My mom bought him his first 8 cars, most of which he destoryed by racing. He only had to pay his insurance, water, and electric bill. He usually couldnt even pay that and 'borrows' the cash from my dad. He has been fired from work so much, (due to his attitude and staying off work to play video games) he has to leave town to find work. He has never bought my nieces christmas presents or birthday presents, he has bought several game systems and cars. My mom tried making up for it, telling my nieces he was busy and couldnt come to visit or didnt have the money. We text him when we had birthday parties or school events so he could come, but he never did. This past easter he decided he was going to play daddy and took my nieces after a lot of screaming saying me and my mom were control freaks. Without permission, he moved my other sibling with his family into the trailer the very next day.

He and his girlfriend moved into the house beside her mothers and wouldnt let us see the kids for a month. I eventually was allowed to go after school to 'babysit'. I discovered my nieces didnt have their own beds and had a handful of grown up shirts for clothes. The dogs frequently went in the girls room and use the bathroom. My brother had a argument with his girlfriend at the end of the month and was kicked out. He handed my nieces back to us while he lived in a hotel. We took him food and some gas money, and left it at that. That was in may. Between may and now he has been with 3 different girls, the current one he is living with is still married with 3 kids of her own. She kicked her husband out of her trailer and moved my brother in within two days. We took my nieces to visit and went trick or treating and went to the ladys kids birthday party just for my brother to see his kids. Everything was okay, we thought everything was over. The one thing we didnt allow was my nieces was not to spend the night with my brother and the girl because they had no room of their own, and the lady has two boys of her own.

The day after getting back from a birthday party with my brother, My oldest niece told her teachers about how her bio mom locks her and her sister in a room and doesnt feed them (its court ordered for the kids to see her), naturally child services was called without our knowledge. Since the biomom lives in georgia, we had to drive there to let the Child services lady talk privately with the kids. Directly after we leave, my mom gets a phone call from my dad. My brother brought the police saying we kidnapped his kids and dont allow him to see them. He thought WE called child services on him, and wouldnt believe anything else. We were 3 and a half hours away from the trailer he is staying in, and he demanded we get the kids to him with their backpacks or he would file to get my mom arrested. There was no way we could have made it in time and he refused to answer phone calls, the only text i would recieve was '9pm' (the deadline to bring the kids back). We brought them back at 11 without backpacks because we didnt have the time to go by the house. We didnt even speak to him, we were hugging the kids and he demanded we get the f off his property before he called the cops again. They posted on facebook begging for clothes for the kids.

My parents have been deeply depressed, i have as well. Those kids are more my sisters than nieces. Christmas isnt even an option right now without them. But we promised to leave the decorations up and the presents unmoved until they came back. One of the gifts was two kittens i kept hidden until they could recieve them christmas, now i cant help but cry seeing them. But i have to stay postive because my mom and dad cant handle anymore negativity. The house is so depressingly quiet and everything on tv reminds me of them. Im still wrapping up their presents to put under the tree. Hopefully, my brother will come christmas with the kids, if only in hopes to recieve his own gifts. And i can probably see them then and let them open their presents.

Until my life gets settled, i wont be posting. I will probably write a little here and there, but it will probably reflect my depressing mood or be a angry chapter.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Please be grateful to be surrounded by your loved ones and be able to see them daily, life likes to throw curve balls; dont regret not taking every moment possible to be by your familys side and spend time with them, tell them how much you love them every moment of the day, it never gets old, i promise


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